


starving for living needs

by rebubbld



Series: hemofuse [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comfort No Hurt, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff, Hemofuse AU, M/M, Mentions of Feferi Peixes - Freeform, Mutant Eridan Ampora, Online Dating, Online Relationship, Tyrian Sollux Captor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 17:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21149738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebubbld/pseuds/rebubbld
Summary: Sustenance, protection, hygiene, entertainment, and conversation. You are starving for living needs.Basically they touch for the first time, Eridan panics, then they cuddle and both cry because they’re touch starved and need affection.





	starving for living needs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [carysias](https://archiveofourown.org/users/carysias/gifts).

> Hi! I'm back, it's Bee. It's me. We're writing fics again. So! Here they are. Come get yall red Erisol juice. 
> 
> Hemofuse AU! It's an AU made by my friend @carysias.
> 
> Eridan is a mutant, Sollux is a tyrian. (Feferi is an olive and Aradia is a violet.)
> 
> Eridan and Sollux meet online and they fall in love and decide to meet for the first time. Thing is, Eridan likes to pretend he's a highblood. Sollux is convinced his matesprit is a cerulean. And so now, Eridan has to figure out how he can keep this lie going, and have Sollux still trust and love him.

As much as you wanted to meet Sollux, the actual Heir to the Empire, you really didn’t want to. He promised you the world and promised you something better. He gave you his genuine self and you still haven’t had the decency to give the same to him. 

Your name is Eridan Vantas and you are a bloodfaker. 

Of course your internet matesprit doesn’t know that. He thinks you’re cerulean, but you play with colors just to talk to other trolls. Which, while true, was only half your reality.

You were in too deep to give him your true color. But even if you could trust him that much, what if he weren’t genuine? What if he had an ugly hatred for lowbloods— mutants too— and what if he had brought the drones on you if you told him? What if he were just as ugly in mind and heart as any other highblood? 

You want so badly to be in love and to be loved right. You just have to be able to trust Sollux. The Heir. The highest of highbloods. The most powerful of trolls onplanet. The most feared troll for many. The symbol of an ugly hemocaste and a dangerous tyranny.

And if he loved you, would any of that change? Would those images be different, if he proved he loved you?

You agreed to meet him. You agreed to seeing his face, to hearing his voice, to feeling his presence.

You were afraid.

You were his matesprit, in his eyes, and he would want to touch you. 

You were burning from the inside out. Your blood was warm. His blood was freezing. The coldest it could be. He would touch you and worry if you were sick.

You couldn’t let that happen.

You understood why a public venue was probably better for the both of you to meet in. If it were public, then maybe there would be less of a chance either of you could easily hurt one another. (If he ended up killing you on the spot for being a disgrace to your people, then so be it. He was the Heir, he could do whatever he wanted. If he killed a mutant would it really matter? So really, this public setting was only for you. If you tried to kill him. _Does_ he trust you?)

You just hated that you had to hide so much of yourself. It was the winter months, so covering up for you was much more concerning. Gloves, as you normally wore, your thick coat to hide your temperature, and of course makeup to hide the redness of your skin. Grey foundation to hide it all, cerulean blush to bring life back to you.

Perhaps he’d be attracted to that. To makeup. To just… dressing up. He’d think you would have the money to look the way you do. (In reality a lot of these things were salvaged or stolen or made. Mostly stolen or made or remade.)

You hadn’t asked for a fancy setting, just because of you. You didn’t really want to be around those kinds of people. 

So, instead, it was something more simple. Something nice, but not disgusting. Someplace where you could take some leftovers from and actually eat something good for once. (You could cook. Kind of. It was edible.)

And of course you had to be late. “Fashionably late,” was your excuse.

It was easy to spot out the Heir, because he was the only fuchsia in sight. People were intimidated by him, of course. But also his very aloof posture made him seem a lot more closed off. Hard to talk to.

Even you thought he wouldn’t want to talk to you.

You cleared your throat to get his attention as you stepped up to the table, face buried in your scarf.

He made a surprised noise, gaze turning up to you. “ED,” he said, voice and gaze almost soft. Almost trusting. “You came.”

“Yeah.” You nodded, taking your seat right in front of him. “Sorry, I got caught up in just… gettin ready.”

“I noticed.” His lisp was there. It was kind of cute. He grinned as you felt his gaze move over your face, and then to the rest of you. It didn’t feel critical, and it didn’t feel like he was undressing you. It just felt like… he was taking you in. “Cold?” He asked.

“Well, yeah,” you scoffed, but not unkindly. It was almost a laugh. “It’s cold. I’m not as thick skinned as you fish are.”

He shrugged. That expression he had was still on his face. It was kind of nice. “We’re just used to it.” 

You nodded, just sitting in front of him. He was staring at you, but he wasn’t looking for anything. He was just gazing for the pleasure of gazing, or something like that.

“You know,” you began, “it feels kinda wild to have met you.” You don’t wait to look at his expression. You only continue. “Not because of who you are but just because… we actually did it. We met.”

He looked at you so tenderly you weren’t sure if you could handle it. “Yeah. We did.” 

You wanted to tell him so bad. He couldn’t just keep _saying things_ like that and expect you to not explode. He couldn’t just look at you with _those eyes_ as if they weren’t making you feel _something_ in your pusher that was dangerous and terrifying.__

_ _“So!” You cut in, trying to just move on from the way you couldn’t stop staring at his eyes and his lips and his whole beautiful face. “What’re we eatin?”_ _

_ _Sollux laughed, this soft, gentle sound, like he too felt how nervous you were and were just sympathizing sweetly with you. God, you wanted to punch him just because he was frustratingly cute and still you were afraid of his color and status. He confused you so much you hated it._ _

_ _“You’re the one who suggested this place.” He leaned his elbow on the table, chin on his palm. “What would you have?”_ _

_ _“Well,” you shrugged. “They’ll probably be try-harding because you’re here. So now might just be the best time to have some of their high quality dishes. But even their everyday dishes are decent.”_ _

_ _After orders were done, you’d have to sit and talk to him more and have to bear through more and more of his gazes. By now you were only counting down the seconds before you exploded in front of him and so many other trolls._ _

_ _Sollux was the timer to your bomb. Which would have been more romantic in any other setting._ _

_ _You could see whenever he wanted to touch you too. His hands would twitch and he’d change his position. But you knew he wanted to take a hold of your hand. He wanted to touch you, as matesprits did. _ _

_ _And you had to deny him of that pleasure._ _

_ _You made excuses of being nervous and being modest and not really wanting to be seen by so many other trolls, who could be spreading images of you and him all over the internet. Of course, there would still be images of this instance anyway, but at least there wouldn’t be too much gossip, because you didn’t engage in anything._ _

_ _At least when the food was delivered, you didn’t have to focus too much on his hands or his lips or his eyes or his fins._ _

_ _You were very surprised when _he_ was the one who began eating first. You would have thought, with the way he was raised, that he may have had some way of figuring out if his food was poisoned, or something. He didn’t have any of the staff prove it was safe. He didn’t even wait for you to eat first. _ _

_ _You were honestly a little worried about your food, actually. What if your food had been poisoned somehow because you had the privilege of hanging out with the Heir?_ _

_ _Sollux glanced up at you, looking at you a little curiously. You were only looking at your own food._ _

_ _“ED?” Sollux’s voice had surprised you out of your own thoughts. “Are you okay?”_ _

_ _“I—” You held your breath for a moment, trying to think. As you exhaled, you let yourself relax. “Just… worried.”_ _

_ _“About?” He prompted._ _

_ _You shrugged, feeling embarrassed for your worries. “Th’ food.”_ _

_ _He hummed in acknowledgement. He reached over, and you stayed very still, hoping he would not grab your hands. Thankfully he didn’t, instead he just reached for the plate and brought it up to his face to smell. _ _

_ _“Doesn’t smell like it’s poisoned,” Sollux said. “You’re okay. We’re both okay.” He placed your plate back in front of you, going back to his own meal. He wasn’t even looking at you at all. _ _

_ _You bit your lip, squirming nervously. You knew he expected you to eat, he’d be worried if you did. So you did. _ _

_ _It was so much easier to trust him when he was grey. You wished he were still grey._ _

_ _The food itself was average. It was what you normally god when you could afford to come here, which was mainly for special occasions. It wasn’t even that expensive, you just liked to save. Sollux seemed to like it though._ _

_ _“You know, this is my first time on the mainland, actually,” Sollux said, somewhere between finishing your respective plates and just lounging with each other._ _

_ _“Really?” You were actually very surprised by that. You would’ve thought he had been on the mainland at least twice before. He was an Heir, he probably had some business to attend to._ _

_ _“Yeah.” He nodded. “I’ve always just been in my hive on an island.”_ _

_ _“Must’ve been pretty lonely.” You could understand. You placed yourself on the outskirts of the city, making sure you didn’t have many neighbors. Feferi was even deeper into the wilderness, but you could navigate it well enough to find her hive. _ _

_ _“I do have my moirail,” he brought up, shrugging. Though even he didn’t really think that was enough company. “I don’t think I’ll be that lonely now, though. Because there’s you, too.”_ _

_ _You wished he wouldn’t _say things like that_. You don’t want to hear words like that come from his mouth because it does _something_ to you and your pusher that could possibly kill you by melting._ _

_ _You cough, pulling your scarf up a little higher to cover your face. “Yeah,” you agreed. “You got me.” God, even saying that was so _difficult_, how could anyone ever have _feelings at all_??_ _

_ _You were actually going to die, but not from your blood. It was from how affectionate Sollux seemed to be and you had no idea how to handle it._ _

_ _But in your idle flusteredness— your carelessness, your pan supplied— Sollux reached for your hand. Your warm hand. Your burning hand._ _

_ _He held one of your hands, gentle with it, and even through your gloves you could feel the drastic difference._ _

_ _He was like ice._ _

_ _He was speaking, but you didn’t really know what he was saying now because his conversational look wasn’t there anymore he wasn’t Sollux he was a threat he was looking at you with this unreadable expression and he was standing now and he was so tall you don’t know what to do—_ _

_ _“Eridan?” Sollux was much closer now, and you were ready to start crying._ _

_ _His hands ended up on your forehead. The at your jaw. The feeling of such cold, cold skin was unnerving. It meant power. He was terrifying._ _

_ _“Eridan, are you sick?” He asked, voice hushed and low as he crouched down in front of you._ _

_ _It took you a moment to answer. “No,” you say truthfully. “I’m fine.”_ _

_ _“You’re burning up.” He couldn’t keep his hands off you._ _

_ _“It’s cold.” You attempt. Even you didn’t believe it._ _

_ _“Can I walk you back to your hive?” Though it was less of a question and more of an offer. Not a demand, he’s never demanded anything of you and you doubt he would now. _ _

_ _You could only nod, numbly. _ _

_ _“Can I touch you?” He asked._ _

_ _You shrugged. You didn’t want to answer that question._ _

_ _“I need an answer, Eridan.” He spoke patiently, as if you were fragile. And maybe you were, but you didn’t want everyone else having to see this._ _

_ _“Please,” was your answer. “Hold me.”_ _

_ _He nodded. He placed his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to his cold, cold body. It was like he was shielding you from the rest of the world. Especially from the rest of these gazing eyes._ _

_ _“You’re gonna have to guide me,” he said softly. “And I won’t go in if you don’t want me to. I can find my way home.”_ _

_ _You nodded idly, only considering to think about his first statement. You don’t want to think about Sollux in your hive yet._ _

_ _The only reason why you wouldn’t want him there is because he’d have every opportunity to kill you for the greater good of your people, and no one would be any wiser. You were a mutant. You couldn’t add yourself into the collection for the mothergrubs to mix._ _

_ _But you want him. (In every sense of the word.) _ _

_ _You want him inside your hive, telling you it’s going to be okay. You want him to whisper to you, as if everything within your home were secrets, all kept inside it. You want him to promise to you that your color did not matter to him. That he wouldn’t kill you for some asinine culture that hated 60% of its population. _ _

_ _“’M real far away,” you muttered. “We’d wanna take a scuttlebuggy.”_ _

_ _“I’ll take care of it.” Which basically meant, he’d exist at the street and public transport would absolutely be there for him, because it’s the Heir, of course they’d be there for him. _ _

_ _You both climbed in, and you requested for the northern end of town. The driver didn’t ask why, so you didn’t say any more. _ _

_ _You were glad they were silent. You didn’t even have the energy to protest when Sollux was the one who paid. He had been doing so the entire time, and you felt almost guilty were he not the Heir, who had access to such money._ _

_ _It was a much faster journey home with an actual vehicle, rather than having to walk all the way from the restaurant to your hive. (Which was why you were late in the first place, but no one needed to know that.) _ _

_ _You were a little calmer now, with Sollux beside you the whole time. He never left your side. He was attached to you for the whole ride, and attached to you even as you took him into the dirt pathways of isolated homes._ _

_ _It was only ten minutes before you reached your secluded, small, quaint hive._ _

_ _He looked at it with awe, but you really weren’t sure why. _ _

_ _“Need me to go, now?” He asked, barely anywhere near your hive. _ _

_ _“No!” You blurted out. Then coughed. “No. Stay. Please.”_ _

_ _Everything was so impulsive you weren’t sure why you were ignoring all the warnings blaring in your head. He could kill you. He could hurt you. He could call the drones. He could do anything to you._ _

_ _Sollux nodded as he followed you into your unlocked door. Followed your automatic steps of taking off your shoes to leave them on the shelves. Offered to take your coat, but you shook your head no, and he backed off._ _

_ _“I, um,” you sighed. “I know it's… early.” You fidgeted, not really knowing what to do with yourself. “But can we… I wanna take you to my pile.”_ _

_ _“Oh,” was the first, immediate thing that came from Sollux’s mouth. “_Oh_.” Was the sound of him understanding._ _

_ _“You don’t have to—” you try to say, rapid and shy, but he stops you._ _

_ _“Let’s go,” he said, taking your still gloved hand and allowing you to lead him to your block._ _

_ _The amount of trust you would have to place into another troll to even be in a pile with them, to turn your back to them, to be so close to them. It was a lot. You had enough for Feferi. You hoped that you had enough for Sollux too._ _

_ _And in that block was your coon and your pile. Of course your closet and desk, but the two most important things were what you liked to make the most noticeable._ _

_ _Sollux immediately got himself comfortable and pulled you in. You were wrapped up in his arms, held by his much larger, cooler body._ _

_ _For a while it was nice. It was quiet. It was content. It was just the two of you with each other in privacy, being alone together._ _

_ _Until it wasn’t._ _

_ _“So,” Sollux began, and you were preparing for the worst. “Am I wrong to think you’re actually… warmer than you say you are?”_ _

_ _You swallowed. How was your mouth so dry now? What was wrong with you? “You’re not wrong,” you answered, voice trembling._ _

_ _Sollux was a little slower with his next words. Like he were being careful. Making sure you wouldn’t run or hide. “Can I ask what you are?” One of his hands began petting down your arm, as if he were trying to comfort you. _ _

_ _You couldn’t say it out loud. _ _

_ _You looked up at him, meeting his gaze, before you brought one of your hands up and pulled off the glove. He watched, carefully, but had no time to react when you immediately bit your own hand._ _

_ _You hated the color that seeped out of your own wound. _ _

_ _“_Eridan_.” You hated the way he said your name. It was so full of care. You didn’t want to hear that. (Well, you did, but you didn’t want to hear it just because you never thought it would be real. You don’t think this is real right now.)_ _

_ _“You didn’t have to hide from me.” His hand moved up to caress your face, and brush back your hair. And then he was taking your bleeding hand to hold and kiss and clean. _ _

_ _You couldn't hold yourself back from crying. _ _

_ _You’re not really sure what fell out of your mouth and what you ended up babbling, but you know somewhere you had said “I’m sorry.” _ _

_ _(Really, the only thing that held itself together was your makeup. That was the strongest thing between the two of you right now.)_ _

_ _Being touched by another was something you weren’t used to. Being in Sollux’s arms like you were something to be cherished and treasured wasn't something you could fully understand. Let alone being cherished and treasured by the Heir himself._ _

_ _His touch was so cold, it was almost hot. _ _

_ _You realize that there really isn’t that much of a difference between the two of you._ _

_ _The tears eventually calm down, but your body temperature does not. You never liked crying. It made you feel far too warm, and as much as you wanted to just throw your coat off somewhere, you weren’t sure if you were ready for that._ _

_ _Maybe you were._ _

_ _You squirmed a little bit away from Sollux, and he let you move. He looked a little hurt and wanting, but you tried to be quick. Your other glove was discarded, and the sleeves to your coat tugged off and tossed elsewhere in the block. Sollux quickly understood, and gave you your space to shed your protective layers. _ _

_ _Touching your face, you were reminded of your last protective layer. The last thing that hid away your color._ _

_ _You cleared your throat, trying to gather your voice. “I think,” you began, taking in a breath, “that I want to… wash up.”_ _

_ _“I can wait,” Sollux said. “I don’t mind.”_ _

_ _You nodded, still trying to control your breath, and pushed yourself up and out of the pile. _ _

_ _You had some time to yourself in your ablutions. And you were going to spend that time taking off one last layer. Shedding your makeup was going to make this real. Your red was real. _ _

_ _You trust Sollux. He hasn’t hurt you now. He’s been patient. He’s been so gentle and kind. You’re sure you trust him._ _

_ _You can wash this._ _

_ _The grey-blue mixture of colors drip from your face and drain down the sink. For once you actually felt… clean. Free of a heavy mask. _ _

_ _You feel okay. _ _

_ _There was a lot for you to hide. It was so easy for you to turn a little red, and beneath all your makeup was a flushed face. In the color you couldn’t hate, but couldn’t love either. _ _

_ _You try not to take too long, drying your face off and entering your block to see Sollux only wrapping himself up in one of the blankets within the pile. _ _

_ _You smiled. Yeah, you could trust him. _ _

_ _“You’re pretty soft for a tyrian,” you said, climbing back in with him. He even lifted the blanket a little to let you join as well._ _

_ _“No you.” He smiled as he pulled you in close._ _

_ _You giggle, and already feel the warmth in your cheeks. “That doesn’t even make sense.”_ _

_ _You expected what he’d say next: “No you.” Of course you giggled again, only making his smile widen._ _

_ _His expression turned serious, but nothing worrying. Nothing scary. His cool hand reached for your cheek, very gently touching your skin. “Thank you,” he said softly._ _

_ _And then he was leaning in close, really _really_ close— _ _

_ _You don’t know what he’s going to do— _ _

_ _Well you _do_, but you’re nervous and this is new and you don’t know where he’s going for—_ _

_ _You could still feel the remnants of his temperature on your forehead. You wish that touches could be visible on your skin, so you could see this kiss when you look at yourself in the mirror._ _

_ _“For trusting me with this.” He spoke as if time hadn’t just stretched to minutes, to hours. As if this kiss hadn’t felt like it took you so long to accept._ _

_ _You flounder for something to say back. “I— You— No, I— Thank _you_,” you say. “For being you.”_ _

_ _He laughs, and it’s the prettiest sound you’ve ever heard. “That’s what I just said to you,” he said fondly._ _

_ _“With different words!” You huffed, feeling yourself heat up again. _ _

_ _“It meant the same thing.” He kissed you again, this time on the cheek._ _

_ _“Will you stay with me?” You asked. You were sure he would, but you couldn’t help but be nervous._ _

_ _“Of course.” And your small smile mirrored his._ _

_ _You both held each other in silence then, exploring your new boundaries. Touch was something you yearned for, but you were too afraid to get._ _

_ _Sollux touched you freely, and would stop if you said no. But you didn’t want to say no. You wanted all of him. All of what he could give you. You wanted his gaze and his smile and his voice and his hands. You wanted it all._ _

_ _He is the one who breaks first. _ _

_ _He shakes, almost as if he were a dam and bursts out with tears himself. You don’t really panic. Tears, you knew very well. _ _

_ _“I’m sorry,” he mumbled through his thick voice. His lisp gets thicker, but you find yourself able to understand him anyway. It sounds cute, really. “I’ve just wanted this for so long.”_ _

_ _“I know.” You felt the same way. You couldn’t help but join him in his tears. “Me too.”_ _

_ _You don’t know how long you both cry for. But it’s enough for the both of you to get the overload of feelings out._ _

_ _“Can I kiss you?” Is the next thing you hear. It almost made you panic, just because your idiot pan already began to try to convince you that you were undeserving of it._ _

_ _But you nod, and you feel the most connected and known you have ever been._ _

_ _Sollux kisses you with the most gentle and soft touches. But you wanted more than that. Your hand found it’s way behind him, pulling his closer, trying to get him to kiss you in the most real way he could. _ _

_ _You wanted to kiss him, and to convey with just that action, that you wanted to cherish him as much as he did you._ _

_ _Sadly, you had to pull back at some point. You were not equipped with gills like he was. He could kiss for as long as he’d like. You only had a certain amount of time before you needed to breathe._ _

_ _“I’m flushed for you,” Sollux breathed. It was the first time either of you said it to one another, out loud, and in person. “I mean it.”_ _

_ _You nearly found yourself crying again, but you held back. Instead, you only smiled. “I’m flushed for you too.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> Hoped you liked your red Erisol juice. Watch out for more updates from us on twitter. @cyansakii and @rebubbld


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